‘Should I go, flow with the destiny of endless fictional lovers’
‘Get real. This is not a movie.’
‘What if she is waiting?’
‘What if she is not?’
Thoughts kept bubbling in my mind. FYI,love of my life is getting married today and here I am, finishing another page of my dairy. Well that is the maximum I can do, penning my feelings. That’s what I’ve done all my life.
She was my childhood crush. I liked her, she didn’t know. Then our coordinates changed and so did my crush. Fate had something else in store for us. We met again. Of course, I remembered her but for her I was just another stranger. I somehow entered her life, thanks to those social networking sites. She was ‘happy’ being single and I was ‘very much’ single. We clicked. I asked her out after two full years of ‘GOOD’ friendship period. Love happened.
After one year of love, life happened. College life became a thing of past and so did the ‘endless’ talks. Love can bloom and flourish only when you are in college, when you’ve all the time in the world for every bit of things. Life outside is cruel; it takes away the sheen from relationship. Time had its toll on our relationship as well. We again became ‘strangers’. We never knew when and how as if ‘US’ never happened.
We kept ignoring the fact that our phone calls ceased to end with ‘love you’, the ‘mid-night’ calls rarely happened and ‘sleepovers’ became just a mare ‘metropolitan culture’ word.
And honestly I never tried to bring things back on track. I still loved her and couldn’t imagine life without her. I considered myself the ‘luckiest’ boyfriend who is being given a lot of space. I thought our relationship has matured. I was wrong.
‘I have got a marriage proposal; the guy is an IIT-IIM’. Was she asking me or informing me!!!! She seemed happy and quite willing. Hiding my socked expression all I could say was ‘so what have you thought?’
‘I don’t know, I haven’t decided yet’ She already had. How could she? We still hadn’t officially ended ‘US’.
‘Ok I will see you then. Call me’ I escaped the scene.
She never did call me. May be she wanted an easy escape. I gave her one.
‘What if she didn’t? What if she was trying me? What if she still loved me?’ Cacophony of such thoughts flooded my mind. I sailed through. I let her GO.
And now that she is gone. Long gone from my life. I am missing her.